where love fades to nothing
by mekenna
Summary: We... can't do this anymore.' he paused, breathing deeply and starting again. 'I’m so sorry that I brought you into my life, that I didn't push you away. Bella, I’m sorry, but we're done. first ff. r&r plz.


I could tell by how empty his eyes were that what he was about to tell me would not be pleasant.

'Whatever it is, you know you can tell me,' I whispered.

He was looking down, refusing to even glance at me. Finally he pealed his stare away from the ground and stared into my eyes with such remorse that I felt as if I was breaking.

'We... can't do this anymore.' he paused, breathing deeply and starting again. 'I'm so sorry that I brought you into my life, that I didn't push you away. Bella, I'm sorry, but we're done.'

I stared at his perfect face, his words not sinking in yet.

"I want you to do me a favor. Live as if I were never here. Go on with your life, be happy. If you find that after you've really tried, and you're still unsatisfied, then just say the word and I'll be back." he kissed me then, his cold lips gently caressing mine, and then he was gone. Not even the leaves on the ground stirred.

But he never came back.

I called for him, begged even. But he never returned like he promised.

And I tried.

I tried so hard to be happy, to pretend he never existed. I too, was sorry that he brought me into his life. I was sorry that he never killed me when he had the chance. Correction: chances. There were so many times when it could have ended. How I wish it would have stopped then, but to my dismay, it did not. Now all I was left with was a reminder of how much I loved him. How much I still love him. My heart was nearly dead, barely beating to keep my alive. I could hear the dull thuds as it helplessly worked to stay in sync with my lungs; to keep me living. It was dull at first. The pain started in my chest, and then slowly worked its way through my veins, piercing each one like it was broken glass.

And then, there was nothing. No pain, no sorrow. Just numbness. It felt as if all of my blood was drained from my body, leaving me cold and dead. It wasn't bad either, to feel nothing at all. The grey that is now my vision appeared as if it was there the entire time, like an old friend waiting to be remembered. Grey continued to be my life. Grey was my every day companion, and I didn't mind. As for the breaks in my chest, well, they were wrapped in wool, keeping the hurt and pain from spilling out. Keeping it from destroying me. My grayness drained me of everything. The colour I once had in my face was gone, along with the life behind my eyes. I was neither dead nor alive, just drifting through life. I had little to no contact with people, all of them afraid of the thing I had turned into. Only at night was I alive; only then did I have any feeling. My dreams were all the same, as if they were a song stuck on repeat. He was there, standing in the dim forest, glowing with perfection. His eyes were dead and his voice monotone. "Bella, we're done" was all he would say. As he turned around to leave me, I cried out for him, exclaiming my love. "I'm glad you involved me in your life," I would say. "I'm glad that I got to be apart of everything. I would never re-do any of it. I regret nothing about us." But he still walked away, as if he was stuck in slow motion. I tried to run after him, but no matter how hard I tried, I got nowhere. And he still walked away. "Edward, I love you." I all but screamed. Every dream ended with that, my sobs fading into nothingness. But this time it was different. This time he turned around to face me.

"Bella," he said, his magnificent voice cold like ice. "There is no hope. Forget about me, because I will forget about you. You will be nothing more than a distant shadow, a shadow that disappears. I don't love you anymore."

I woke with soft scream that quickly turned into sobs. He was gone and was never coming back. All the hurt and emotion that had been locked up released itself, swarming my body with pain and misery. It was then that I had decided what must be done. I got dressed and untied my hair, letting it fall to my shoulders. I left the small empty house and walked slowly to my truck. I didn't startle as the engine roared to life. And I didn't even see Charlie when he ran after me, yelling my name. He deserves someone better than me, someone who he can easily love.

It took my half an hour to reach my destination, and when I got there, everything seemed to stop. I slowly got out of the truck and stepped into the stillness. I walked towards the place where it would happen, the place where it would finally end. In front of me the ground stopped and the air took over. Open space, with a looming ocean far below. I walked back away from the ledge, a good forty feet or more, and stopped. Then I turned around and ran. I felt like I was running in slow motion; every movement going at a ridiculous pace. My heart was pounding and my lungs working to keep up with it. My thoughts where absent, I had a completely clear mind. It felt like I was running forever in the stillness. Silence was ringing in my ears. The sky was a dark purple, almost black, and I could see the rain in the distance. It should have been windy, but not even the tall grass moved. Then something stirred in my mind, a swift thought that shouldn't have been there.

"Edward, come back." It wasn't a beg, it was merely a request. A request I knew wouldn't be responded to. And then I leapt. I flew through the air, spinning gracefully. That's when I saw it. A soft whiteness, almost like a ghost. It was running towards me. It was him.

"Bella!" he screamed. "No, Bella!"

But it was too late. I was falling out of control toward the hostile blackness below. I plunged deep into the ocean, the currents smashing me in every direction. I tried so hard to get to the surface, but I couldn't see; there was no light. My lungs where screaming, begging for air. I couldn't help but to breathe in, the ice cold water stabbing my throat like knives.

And then it was over.

Bella was gone.

Forever.


End file.
